Music is Strange: an analysis of "Last Kiss"

I get bothered by lyrics a lot. This is one of those songs.

(listen along!)

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world. 

Sadness! Bereft! A classic tale of boy loses girl. Strangely upbeat tune though.

 We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far

There in the road, up straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead

Oh no, conflict! A change from the norm!
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right

Wait. Wait wait wait. Hold up. Are you telling me that when you saw a large object directly in front of you on the road your first reaction was to turn right? As in, the direction where there isn't road? Since this is Pearl Jam we know there's no Englandian left lane trickery, so either this guy was in the wrong lane to begin with or he decided to veer into who-knows-what. Regardless he doesn't belong behind the wheel.

I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

This doesn't make sense anymore! You know exactly what happened: you drove your dumb ass into a wall or something to that effect and your girlfriend freaked the fuck out before she died horribly! And it's your fault! Don't act like you don't know what you did!

  

When I woke up, the rain was pourin' down
There were people standing all around

"Dude, did you see this idiot? He ran right into a fucking guardrail for no reason! It was awesome! Let's stare at it and get in the way of the paramedics!"
Something warm runnin' in my eyes

But somehow I found my baby that night

The hell? Wasn't she riding with you? Look to your right, you've already proved you're good at that.
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said
"Hold me darling just a little while."

Remarkably coherent for a car crash victim. I guess "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE OW HELP" didn't sound as good. Also, I like how they skipped the obvious rhyme with "said".
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss

You didn't like her before, but now that she's dead you're down? Blaaaah no no no this is wrong
But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight

NO THAT IS WRONG
I lost my love, my life that night.  

And then he just "oooo"s a lot like he's musing on it. No. This song is terrible. Never again. And stop requesting this on the radio, people who live in my town. What is wrong with you.

No review this week, sorry.

I'm leaving on a midday plane to Georgia for a week, so there probably won't be an article. Sorry!

Please accept these pictures of Hugo as compensation. See you next week!

Shank 2: a review

Grindhouse style movies have resurged in recent years. Movies like Black Dynamite, Hobo with a Shotgun, and Machete have brought back the exploitation and ultra-violence that can satisfy like nothing else. Shank 2 is inspired by these and it shows.

Here’s your plot: Shank (yes that is the main character’s name) rides into town on a bus to visit his old orphanage. Said town is under the control of a corrupt politician’s personal army. After they kidnap the woman who runs the orphanage, Shank decides to fight them all to get her back.

That’s it. If it seems familiar then you’ve probably watched your fair share of westerns and action films in the past. Shank 2 borrows heavily from the conventions of these genres, but it’s always tongue in cheek about it, always aware of what it is. The comic book shading and style allows for fantastic animations, and even in still shots the art is impressive. The music also helps set the scene, just as in the best grindhouse flicks.

The game plays incredibly smoothly. Shank moves at a good clip and can roll, leap, and lunge great distances. The attacks feel powerful, from the fastest swipes of the knives to the slow swing of a sledgehammer. His enemies aren’t slouches either though, and the variety of weapons and strategies they employ will the player on their toes. Fortunately, between your rolling dodges and counterattacks (as well as infinite ammo for guns and lots of useful temporary weapons), you’re always more than equipped to deal with the threats at hand.

What is less fun is the lack of cooperative multiplayer in story mode. The first game had a separate story for two players, so having this completely missing is a shame. Instead there is a cooperative survival mode, with several waves of enemies in multiple locations. This is a frantic and fantastic alternative to the story, and it provides replay value that the first game lacked. Where that game only lasted 6-8 hours at best, Shank 2 offers substantially more to play and content to unlock. For a $10 download, the amount of game here is surprising.

Shank 2 is a love letter to grindhouse movies. The action is over the top, the cutscenes are ridiculous and the plot is an afterthought, but it manages to distill everything fun about watching your favorite action flicks into a video game. The lack of a cooperative story mode is a drawback, especially since the last game did it so well, but the survival mode largely makes up for it and overall the game is a noticeable improvement on the already solid original.

Shank 2 is available for download on Xbox Live Arcade, Playstation Network, and PC.

WE'RE BACK, FUCKERS

I stopped posting because Google took my ads (and therefore my game funds) away a while back. That's going to change now. I can't promise a review every Monday, but I will try to post something each week, even if it's just a small write up. Sorry for vanishing, all 4 or so of you who cared about my stuff! I'm back!